The New York State Assembly nixed the Marriage Equality bill three weeks ago and it’s taken me nearly that long to see this awesome speech made by State Senator Diane Savino. Savino rocks and her speech got me all choked up. Here’s the video:
NYS Senator Diane Savino speaks on the Marriage Equality Bill
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The best thing about the Internet is knowing that I’m not alone in my Duggar family fascination. In the pursuit of finding my community of Duggar-loving sisters and brothers, I came across a post on Boing Boing contemplating the genetic possibilities of the future: that future humans will all somehow be related to the Duggars. Considering that TLC’s anti-Gosselins take seriously that part in the Bible which says ‘be fruitful and multiply’ you have to think that this is exactly their plan.
The post is from last month (Nov. 2, 2009), but I laughed my little heart out and then shuddered at the possibility of what the future might hold. Considering that Baby Duggar #19 is on the way, nothing said about this prolific clan will ever go out of style: Will the Duggars Inherit the Earth?
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This is the first in a series of articles on my new favorite female political leader to write about.
I really want to read Palin’s autobiography, Going Rogue: An American Life. This is not just for my ironic pleasure–I’m honestly interested in understanding why her fans like her so much. I could certainly write another list post detailing all the reasons I dislike her, but I’m willing to admit that I find her fascinating and worthy of a million feminist analyses.
Stanley Fish writes in his review of Palin’s autobiography on New York Times’ Opinionator that she likes to recite “wonkish details” and that she admires Hillary Clinton. That’s where I stopped reading because I have to wonder if it is possible to find a comfortable place where you can admit having a grudging amount of, err, I’m searching for a better phrase–ironic respect for someone– and still be diametrically opposed to every thing they say and do. If Sarah Palin can admire Hillary Clinton for her intelligence, success, and career path, couldn’t I say that I admire Palin’s confidence and moxie? Her total lack of self-awareness makes her fearless and I could use some of that. Perhaps Palin and I could be like frenemies: I could praise her outfits from Neiman Marcus and then we could agree that David Letterman tells sexist jokes. But trust me, behind her back I’m going to say she lacks depth. Does any one have a copy of her book I could borrow?
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You know what I love best about the end of the year? All those lists recounting or celebrating the top-whatever things that happened in a particular year. Vh1 usually has a lot of lists and not just at the end of the year. People has their most beautiful and sexiest men alive lists. Time has their Person of the Year and all the other people (usually men with a woman or two thrown in for posterity’s sake) who have done something memorable.
Lists are easy ways to organize thoughts without having to write a layered and intelligent story. You can compile it quickly, throw it together, and say something witty. I think this is how I’ll present to you the 2009 People of the Year Who Made Me Shout Obscenties at the Television.
1. Sarah Palin Going Rogue. Easy and obvious, I know. I don’t care if she’s a conservative Republican. I don’t care that she’s narcissistic and overly-ambitious considering her limited talents. What makes me puke in my mouth is this whole going rogue thing. Um, being a rogue is not a good thing. We have rogue nations like the axis-of-evil Iran and North Korea. Palin wants to bomb these places, yet she emulates them. If Palin wants to be a rogue and thinks that 2012 is a good year to run for president, I’m not moving to Canada. I’m moving to another planet.
2. Birthers/Teabaggers/Anti-Healthcare Reform Townhall shouters Come to think of it, I could have created three seperate entries for these patriotic Americans who want to save the country from illegal immigrants, socialism, and black people but they all come together for the same silly press conferences.
3. Glenn Beck I’m waiting for the day when he transitions from crying and spinning wonderful little conspiracy theories to throwing his feces on live television.
4. Michele Bachmann Proudly serving the 6th district of Minnesota and unabashedly saying stupid, irresponsible, and untrue things. I bet the 6th district is proud. Thanks to Bachmann, I never hear a peep from Ann Coulter.
5. Joe Wilson Nobody knew the Congressman from South Carolina until he had an outburst during President Obama’s address to Congress that made four year-olds everywhere seem mature. And the fact that people (birthers/teabaggers/anti-healthcare reform proponents) were inspired by his childish cry of “You Lie!” makes me long for an exit strategy to the moon.
6. The News Media I generally think blaming the media for society’s ills is lazy and incorrect because there are so many forces at work collaborating to destroy society; however, I think the news media is to blame for the five above. Giving these people a forum only stokes their flames. If you ignore them they will go away even if it is kinda fun to cover them.
7. Centrist Democrats 2009 has been a wonderful year for me to feel nonpartisan anger. Whether you are vulnerable in your Republican-leaning state or owned by health insurance companies, you really make me feel the consternation that many other people feel when it comes to politics. A large part of me hopes all of you lose your Senate seats in 2010. But then again, it won’t really matter because you all have jobs lined up lobbying for Pharmaceutical companies.
8. Joe Lieberman First of all, people think we are related even though our last names are spelled differently. True story. And I really don’t get you and I think it’s time you just go over to the Republicans. Do it. Go. Leave.
9. Reality Show Freaks This one’s dedicated to the Hennes, the Salahis, and the Gosselins. You may give us all something to talk about but nobody likes you.
10. The Economy I know, not a person. But it has a life of its own and one that seems to be destroying mine making it harder for me to get a job or own a home or feel secure in my bed at night.
Bonus: 11. People who are against gay marriage rights There is no argument in this world that can convince me that it’s correct to deny consenting adults the right to have a committed relationship with the people they love. Mind your own business, nobody will force you to have anal sex with your interior decorator. This country could only get better if there was more love to go around. If you want to save the state of hetero marriage outlaw divorce and destroy all of Carrie Prejean’s masturbation-how-to videos.
And there you have it: my worst of 2009 list. Let’s hope for the best in 2010
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I think I’m pretty lucky because I finished grade school long before George W. Bush became president, so I got to benefit from sex education without the abstinence only rhetoric. Not only did I learn where babies come from, but I also got to learn about some neat ways to prevent having those little bundles of shit and joy. Having read the warnings on boxes of condoms and the birth control pill inserts I know that neither one is 100 percent effective. I like to think that I’d be much more vigilant than the women featured in TLC’s I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant.TLC (The Learning Channel to the uninitiated) and their sister network, Discovery Health have been my greatest source of entertainment since finishing school and being unemployed. TLC truly lives up to its name because I have learned a great many things like little people can do anything and everything (Little People Big World); that Kleinfeld’s is the only place to get a wedding dress (Say Yes to the Dress); that fundamentalist Christians have lots of kids (18 Kids and Counting); and that Jon and Kate hate each other. Clearly, TLC is a channel for heterosexual women interested in little people, buying the princess-for-a-day wedding dress, and having lots of babies because I can’t imagine a straight guy spending five minutes watching this channel. I know this because I did a highly unscientific survey of one guy–my boyfriend–and the results suggest that he thinks TLC is mind numbingly stupid. I would like to be a fly on the wall during TLC’s programming and marketing meetings.
But this whole thing with women unaware of their pregnancies leaves me in total consternation. I like to think of myself as pretty open-minded, believing that anything can happen and I suppose it is possible to never experience any of the usual holy-shit- I’m- pregnant symptoms. I understand there are women who have medical conditions that preclude getting their periods so they wouldn’t think anything was out of the ordinary. However, I can’t stop thinking about the fact that most of the women featured on this show are adults–adults who are quite aware that they are sexually active. There is no suggestion of immaculate conception for any of them. I’m not saying I am better than any of these women, but really, I know that having sex can lead to pregnancy. My advice to sexually active women every where: Pay attention to your bodies and consider the fact that you could get pregnant. Sheesh.
I’ve read similar articles about women unaware of their pregnancies until little junior was making his appearance over the toilet and many of these women contend that they weren’t in denial and that they never had any of the tell-tale signs. I’m sure it would suck mightily if this happened to me, but I’m not convinced they were anything more than misinformed, in some combination of deep denial and scared shitless to let their boyfriends/husbands/strict Catholic families know they were pregnant. Some of the women reported thinking they were having really bad gas and constipation. If I ever have gas so bad that I can see a little foot outline in my abdomen, you can bet I’m gonna think something’s not right.
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I’ve been thinking about motherhood. Before certain boyfriends, friends, and family members get all excited and think I’ve been dancing a computer-generated baby dance a la Ally McBeal, let me qualify this by saying that I’ve been thinking that perhaps I’m not cut-out for a life of minivans, spit-up, and dirty diapers–much-less saving up for someone else’s college education.
This whole mommy-will-I-or-won’t-I business didn’t start because I’m painfully aware that every egg is precious. I don’t think those eggs are any more precious than all the wasted sperm in this world. The thought of letting my body play host to someone who will spend her teen years hating me is rather unappealing. I challenge anyone to a discussion about whether women are hard-wired to want children.
My preoccupation with wrapping myself in a full-body condom came after a year of being inundated with glowy-halo images of motherhood. Perhaps the inundation was self-induced because I chose to write a thesis on Nancy Pelosi’s message strategy which was comprised of statements on how being a mother is the most important thing a woman will ever do next to leading the United States Congress. And then there’s my anthropological fascination with the Circus Freak Show channel TLC and their prized Duggar clan. The fact that Michelle Duggar has had 18 precious blessings with a 19th on the way excuses me from any responsibility to keep the human race going. Lastly, Facebook has exposed me to the fact that people I knew in high school now have three or four children and they are insanely happy about it. Sometimes I want to turn on TLC and hear a tired, exasperated woman utter the words, “I wish I didn’t have any kids.”
If you are anything like my six grade friend Jenny’s mom, you might say that I have a “negative attitude” about all the love and joy in life, but that’s not necessarily true. I love babies and I think they’re cute and I can coo with the best of them. I think my boyfriend’s neice and nephews are loads of fun and adorably precocious and playing with them is always fun after a good night’s rest. But the responsibility that goes along with having children of my own is almost too much to bear–and that’s coming from someone who relishes responsibility, delegating tasks, and telling others what to do. Screwing up a project is one thing, but screwing up an innocent human life because I chose an innapropriate punishment makes me want to return to the womb and never come out. Moreover, I have a mother so I know how much an off-hand comment can ruin one’s self-image forever and ever.
But it’s not just the fear of raising an anti-social loser that makes me fear motherhood. I’m not sure I like children enough to have them around every day. I didn’t even like kids all that much when I was a kid. Honestly, I found adult conversation much more interesting and I always wanted to hang out with the parents when I went over to a friend’s house. And when I was growing up my mom ran a day care out of our home. While I can acknowledge that these kids helped pay the bills, family vacations, Chrismukkah gifts, and my college education, they also did a lot to shape my unabiding love for silence.
I suppose I can reserve the right to say that all of this holds until I change my mind, perhaps when I enter the 35-40 demographic, but until then I think I want to be a really cool aunt who will let the neices and nephews do whatever they want and stay up all night when they come to visit me for the summer. I’ll give them advice about first loves, first heartbreaks and all the other stuff they can’t talk about with their parents. I like me as the mentor. Plus, I get to indulge in all of life’s joys while avoiding paying for braces and grounding them.
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I doubt anyone will read this since this blog is just one of millions that nobody reads and I doubt that anyone will care. Besides, I wasn’t organized by a shadowy lobbyist group for the health care industry and I don’t strap on guns and carry Obama-is-a-Nazi signs to Congressional town hall meetings. But I’m going to add my voice to all the other obnoxious voices unable to understand reasonable debate. Somebody out there has to speak for the 50 million Americans who have absolutely no voice in this discussion about health care reform.
I am one of those 50 million Americans without any health insurance. And let me qualify that by saying that I am not an illegal immigrant (I was born and bred in the United States–and one of the lower 48 to boot!), I’m not a deadbeat, homeless person looking for a hand out–hell, no! I’m a hardworking, tax-paying, law-abiding citizen, and voter who just finished a grad school program and now spends every day of her life looking for a job. And despite all the success and hard work I’ve put into everything I do I feel pretty damned insecure. You see, every time I have a little sniffle or a headache, I think to myself: I can’t get sick because I can’t pay for it. For the record, I’ve had full-time employment with health-insurance before and I thought that was pretty awesome until I got sick or had surgery, or just had a routine check-up and discovered all the things my private health insurer would not cover. And even with a full-time salaried job I still worred about being able to pay my rent or afford to have the care I need when I get sick. I’m sure I’m not alone with this worry. Insurance is not very ensuring, is it?
I know there is a question about whether health care is a right, and I will say unequivocally as someone without it, yes, it is. The right to be healthy, happy–you know the pursuit of happiness, lies in not being strapped down by inhuman medical debts. My parents have health insurance through my dad’s job, but my mom got really, really sick last year and almost died. My parents are thousands of dollars in debt now. My mom’s health isn’t all that great and she shouldn’t have to work, yet she has to in order to pay off her medical bills. Corporations should not be allowed to proft off of things that other people can not control–you know, like getting sick. When people die every year because they don’t have health insurance and therefore can’t afford to see a doctor, that is most certainly a question of basic human rights. We pride ourselves on being the greatest, and most just country in the world. Yet, I don’t see that when the attitude of many of us is: ‘Oh you don’t have health insurance, you don’t have a job? Well, I do, so it sucks to be you.’
Full disclosure, I have voted Democrat in the last couple of elections and I know that means I’m a Communist-Fascist-Feminazi-Whore for Satan who wants to take your guns and force you in front of a government death panel to be euthanized and then make your family pay for all of my abortions, so I’m not going to hold your hand and sing kumbaya or pray with you or whatever. No, I’m going to tell you that you need to get your head out of your asshole and think about what health care reform really means. How about instead of getting your information from some talking head on Fox News, you read the actual proposal? See for yourself what it’s all about. I understand your hatred for the government. Your hatred for the government equals my hatred for corporations that essentially get to control my health care decisions. I understand your worry about becoming Russia or whatever powerless former Socialist country you’re so scared of–but trust me, there is nothing in the health care reform that Pres. Obama is talking about that even comes close to that godless nation geographically situated on top of us–you know, Canada.
Health care reform is essential because the system is broken and is going to get worse–to the point where all the old people are going to lose their Medicare and only Bill Gates will be able to afford health insurance. Before you start griping about your taxes, just think how much worse it will be when 50 percent of your income will be spent on your health care.
And do me a favor, until I get a job with health benefits, please, please, please cover your mouth and nose when you cough and sneeze around me.
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Every day I wake up, stretch, make myself a pot of coffee, and tell myself that I won’t read the comments posted for any news article I read on the Internet. And, then like a conservative Republican who tells himself today is the last day he cheats on his wife, but goes to Argentina anyway, I’m reading the comments left by real life Archie Bunkers and people everywhere who are clearly slacking off at their 9 to 5′s.
I’ve been trying to stop reading those comments because they reinforce my belief that the world is filled by really awful people who should have been aborted. No really, their comments tilt me closer toward misanthropy. The most recent media spectacles–Birthers and the Louis Gates Jr. arrest and subsequent beer summit with the president and the Officer Crowley who arrested him, remind me how sorely many of us who use the techie version of the market place of ideas needs a lobotomy.
We have a bunch of disgruntled people in this country egged on by the likes of CNN’s Lou Dobbs and the truly mentally unstable Glenn Beck, who are convinced that Barack Obama is the secret Muslim that he is and not the President of the United States because he’s not an U.S. citizen and he won’t produce some sort of long-form birth certificate. Whatever. My message to birthers: Doesn’t it just suck losing an election and trying to grasp the idea that for quite possibly the next eight years. the guy you don’t like is going to make important decisions that will affect your life? I know, I know. I’ve been there. I remember the first eight years of 21st century, and it was a difficult time for me with all those preemptive wars, profilgate spending on the things human beings don’t need, and the hacking away at civil liberties all in the name of keeping me safe. Yet, I never (publicly, that is) questioned the legitimacy of your guy’s American citizenship. I mean, the Bushes are as American as obesity causing apple pie and military bases on every continent! The bottom line is that you didn’t vote for Obama and he’s trying to reform your health care (how dare he try to fix a broken system!) and that just makes your blood boil.
And then there was that whole Harvard professor getting arrested in his home and gosh, we don’t really know what happened because, by golly, none of us were there to witness it and those who were there can only report their perspectives on an event that was affected by the historic racism this country thinks we’re getting past just because the electoral college put a black guy in the White House. Any article discussing this situation also invariably had really cute comments about “reverse racism” and people who are convinced that being African-American is the same thing as being a criminal. As I’ve said above, Archie Bunker lives and thrives on the Internet.
So, why do I get angry, annoyed, and misanthropic when I read all those reader comments? I should know that commenters are a small fraction of the world, albeit a mighty motivated fraction, who think their opinions are heady enough for others to see. In some ways, I wonder if I’m all that different from them. After all, I spend time every day reading their thoughts and getting as angry as Rush Limbaugh is at all the reverse racists and wise Latina women. I mean, if the reader comment displeases me, I can read it not, right? No, I can’t. The disgruntled reader/commenter c’est moi. Angry people, annoyed with the world, trying to make sense of it yet powerless to change it, so we write and hope that someone somewhere has a bad day because we said something mean and stupid.
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Just so I’m not the last person on earth to weigh in on the whole Gov. Mark Sanford Argentinian mess, here’s what I think:
I’ve heard some wonderful clunkers from the opposite sex in my short dating history going back to high school such as “I don’t have the capability to care” or in more recent history: “I think you’re quite remarkable, but…” However, the governor of South Carolina definitely takes the cake with this pathetic line: “I will try to fall back in love with my wife.” Dude, your wife should run for the hills and then divorce you for everything you’ve got. Gov. Sanford–Douchebag of the Universe.
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Something in my gut tells me I should be deeply embarrassed about this, but I’m having a difficult time concentrating on my thesis because there’s a Real Housewives of NYC marathon on Bravo right at this very moment. The Real Housewives has become a guilty pleasure of mine that I’m no longer all that guilty about. Last year it was Degrassi: The Next Generation, however, I’ve tired of the Canadian teen angst and now the rubbernecking beauty of the Real Housewives has drawn me in, you know, like a terrible train accident. I can’t look away. I’ve never witnessed such unadultered crap. I love it.
First of all, I’m not sure if any of the NYC Housewives qualify as “housewives”. Two are unmarried. All of them work outside the home in one capacity or another. And, they don’t do housework–that’s what their “housekeepers” are for. But, nonetheless they circulate in a magnificent world of parties, fashion, and socialite bitchiness. Oh how I love it. They don’t even try to hide their snobbery. For example, Bethenny and the Countess Lu Ann de Lesseps lunch at a Hamptons restaurant and complain about how touristy it has become, “and not the right kind of tourists.”
The Countess, is by far my favorite in terms of snobbery. She never feels bad about being privileged, prices on dresses, “don’t matter so much,” as she tells her daughter on a shopping trip when her daughter asks, “how much is that?” The Countess is a maven of manners. Nothing was more hilarious than watching her teach inner city girls in Brooklyn about manners and self-esteem. To see their eyes collectively glaze over filled my heart with more glee than the prospect of being set free in Michael Kors to buy whatever my heart desires.
Oh, and the time Jill gave an interview to the BBC and tried with all her might to express her feelings on the economy was also quite entertaining. The interviewer looked absolutely bemused and I thought that was just absolutely fabulous, especially when he says to her, “It’s hard to see crisis around here.” Jill then lectures on spending less than you have, which of course is easy for her. Did I mention how much I love this show!
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