by jen on January 5, 2010
Love Makes You Fat
Remember the good old days when Newsweek reported that single women over 40 had a better chance of being in a terrorist attack than getting married, setting off a panic that lasted for 20 years until they retracted the story in 2006? Now the New York Times reports on an Australian study showing that women who live with their partners gain weight. Oh, what the hell is a girl to do? Stay single and and hope the terrorists miss you? Move in with Mr. Right and risk becoming a fat mess?
Gaining weight while in a relationship is not news. You can ask any woman in the midst of domestic bliss and she’ll tell you that she’s gained some weight. A few of those reasons might be that having a serious relationship changes your lifestyle–you eat out a bit more and you adjust your eating habits to your partner’s. If he subsists on a diet of red meat and Guinness, chances are you’re having a bit of that too. And you can’t deny the lovely power of being with someone who loves you beyond your body. Knowing that you don’t have to look perfect all the time is a huge relief.
But my problem with the article is how it’s framed as a dire warning to women despite the fact that most of the article suggests this weight gain is not a big deal. The story starts with the headline, “Study Says Women With Mate Get Heavier” and ends with a quote from lead researcher Dr. Annette J. Dobson, who says:
“From a prevention point of view, one can look at these as particular times when women have to be especially careful.”
I was hard pressed to find anything in the article showing how the sample of women in the study gaining an average of 15 pounds over 10 years faced serious health problems. Gaining weight over the course of a decade seems natural to me.
So am I being overly sensitive and interpreting this as another news article with the potential to make women freak out about their bodies?
The Beautiful and the Shamed
A bit of schadenfreude for those of us still reeling from our awkward teenage years: CNN reports that the looks-obsessed dating site BeautifulPeople.com banished 5,000 of their users for gaining too much weight over the holidays. BeautifulPeople bills itself as an elite(ist) dating site for people who believe that looks matter when selecting mates, who want to guarantee that they will always have attractive dates, and who don’t want to waste time filtering through all the Quasimodos on Match.com and eHarmony. As if the rest of us (ugly people) don’t want to be attracted to the people we date.
There is hope for the site’s shamed fatties. They can return if they lose weight and meet the standards of BeautifulPeople’s voters. Hey BeautifulPeople, you’re only ugly on the inside.
by jen on January 2, 2010
Every new year I resolve to do something attainable. I never make grand pronouncements about losing weight (yeah, like I’m gonna give up wine, cheese, bread, and chocolate) or attempt to be a better person (that would take more than a year). I try to come up with something small that I could actually accomplish without loads of willpower. Last year I resolved to wear more dresses because during that miserable time spent in grad school, I engaged in a little too much, err, retail therapy, and ended up with more skirts and dresses than any woman who is not Amish should have. The resolution worked for about a week, but when you live in Syracuse where the snow falls for 9 months it just made more sense to wear jeans tucked into ugly L.L. Bean catologue moonboots when trudging to campus. In 2010 I vow to be the only person who won’t comment or psychoanalyze Tiger Woods and his cheatin’ heart.
Admittedly, it took me over 24 hours of the new year to come up with this resolution. I did some soul searching during the Law & Order SVU marathon commercial breaks and determined that I really don’t care about Tiger Woods. Or golf. Yeah, I don’t care about golf and I really don’t want to hear all the psychobabble that bubbles up when it comes to sex, who’s having it and with whom. Sometimes seemingly nice, holy, perfect people with rose-fragranced shit make terrible choices. Men cheat, women cheat, and people do shitty things to each other. As someone who’s cheated, been cheated on, and who has (in the past) made moral pronouncements against other people, I will say this one thing and then carry on with my 2o10 resolution: Cheating is a selfish thing to do. So now I think I can live up to my promise and have a happy 2010 filled with minimal weight loss and whatever else may come.
by jen on December 30, 2009
I really hated babysitting, but I loved the Babysitter’s Club.
Scholastic, Inc. is bringing back the series and Ann M. Martin is writing a prequel
about the group of middle school friends who started a successful babysitting business together. This news has me nostalgic for Babysitters on Board and all the others I consumed late at night when I was supposed to be sleeping.
I read the books as a fourth grader who thought seventh graders were really old and sophisticated. Unfortunately, the books did not inspire me as a teenager to passionately take up babysitting. Babysitting only inspired me to dislike other people’s children and consider whether it was really fair to pay someone $2 an hour to protect their kids from fires, burglars, and scissors. I spent most of my time begging the kids to go to bed and fretting that I would burn down the house if I turned on the stove.
At the time, I loved the details about the girls who seemed so realistic, as though somewhere in the parallel universe of fictional Stonybrook, Connecticut lived Kristy, Stacey, Mary Anne, Claudia, and Dawn who got together every week for their club meetings and to schedule their babysitting jobs.
Now I kinda think that BSC could be a precrusor to Sex and the City minus the sex (although having that in the books would’ve given Sweet Valley High a run for its money). Think about it–the four original girls were archetypes–the conservative smarty-pants (Mary Anne), the ambitious tomboy (Kristy), the artistic funky girl (Claudia), and the sophisticated trend-setter (Stacey). Moreover, the books focused on their friendships and conflicts with each other. We can quibble over whether SATC was truly feminist, but I think that portraying young girls as resourceful and entrepreneurial is pretty cool (even if it was about babysitting).
by jen on December 28, 2009
Give me a second to stop laughing over this one. Ok, I think I’m ready now. I’m going to venture a guess that some of the 158 sports editors polled in the
Associated Press’s Top Female Athlete of Year vote were full of shits and giggles when they nominated race horses Zenyatta and Rachel Alexandra. Surely those editors were on a break or tossing back a few drinks when they received their surveys in the mail, so they couldn’t have taken it seriously. Perhaps the AP should specify that they were talking about human females. (Perhaps the AP thinks ladyhorses and lady humans are the same thing?)
On a serious note, 66 sports editors voted for Serena Williams as top athlete. I think it’s a good sign that a handful of people out there know the difference between a horse and a human–hail the American educational system. Feministing quoted UN Dispatch writer Mark Goldberg who made this rather astute point:
That’s right. We live in a world in which animals are eligable to win “Female Athlete of the Year” from one of the most important global news agencies. That’s some shameful stuff. And for the record, none of the male athletes of the year were anything but human.
Feministing asked their readers to think of other women (human) athletes that could have been on the list. I’m going to ask readers to think of some male animal athletes so that we can create a whole new list.
by jen on December 27, 2009
Breast cancer could be to women politicians what the war wound is to men, writes Washington Post White House correspondent Anne Kornblut in her Sunday Post article. Kornblut’s piece is a preview of her book, Notes from a Cracked Ceiling, which comes out December 29 and recalls lessons learned from the 2008 election that saw Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin’s unsuccessful quests for the White House.
Kornblut’s article discusses the usual themes that arise when a woman runs for office–sexism, traditional gender stereotypes, wacky families, and hemlines–and she details proven tactics like being an expert on the issues, having ideas, and having the experience that convinces people that you can lead. Examining what it will take for a woman to finally become president is an important endeavor and Kornblut recognizes the traditional roadblocks and the things that have changed, allowing more women to enter politics and suceed. But I’m not so sure the breast cancer angle should have been a specific item in Kornblut’s story. Perhaps it could have been part of another section discussing the importance of having a compelling back story. Although Kornblut is not recommending that anyone get breast cancer in her effort to win an election, in my mind, putting it in a story about what it might take for a woman to win the White House seems like a tall order.
Women Politicians, Breast Cancer, and Other Great Stories
Kornblut writes that surviving breast cancer may have shown that Homeland Security director Janet Napolitano, Washington Gov. Christine Gregoire, Rep. Debbie Wasserman-Schultz (D-FL), and California Senate Candidate Carly Fiorina are tough, resilient, and capable of handling any challenge, but I would argue that these women offer other things that make them viable leaders. For example, Napolitano earned recognition for expertly managing Arizona when she was the governor. The breast cancer aspect seems like such an oddly specific thing to warrant a sub theme on winning an election. Women leaders with breast cancer is part of a larger trend of women with the disease and let’s not forget that plenty of male politicians have survived cancer. And having prostate cancer didn’t help Sen. John Kerry win the presidential election in 2004 nor did it make Rudy Giuliani a warmer, more relatable guy. Successful politicians–male and female–have found ways to reach out and remind people that our life experiences shape who we are. That’s why Bill Clinton became the Man From Hope and George W. Bush was a recovering alcoholic who eventually found Jesus. Having survived breast cancer could be just one way a woman politician tells her story.
The key is, obviously, for women to find the perfect formula; to successfully navigate the political climate (knowing the specific issues, understanding the race); highlight expertise and skill; and have charisma and personality. Kornblut shows that women have won without chemotherapy. Women have many other sources of strength from which to draw–Hillary Clinton has earned accolades for her work as a Senator and as a Secretary of State. As I found in my research and as Kornblut pointed out, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi has successfully combined her experience as a mother with a tough political style.
Wars and Survivors
The discourse of cancer is about battles and survival. For future women politicians, cancer will not be the only battle they discuss. Considering the numbers of women participating in the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, we will most likely see more women like Veterans Affairs Department Assistant Secretary, Tammy Duckworth, running for political office and erasing the idea that war wounds are the sole provenance of men.
by jen on December 23, 2009
by jen on December 8, 2009
The best thing about the Internet is knowing that I’m not alone in my Duggar family fascination. In the pursuit of finding my community of Duggar-loving sisters and brothers, I came across a post on Boing Boing contemplating the genetic possibilities of the future: that future humans will all somehow be related to the Duggars. Considering that TLC’s anti-Gosselins take seriously that part in the Bible which says ‘be fruitful and multiply’ you have to think that this is exactly their plan.
The post is from last month (Nov. 2, 2009), but I laughed my little heart out and then shuddered at the possibility of what the future might hold. Considering that Baby Duggar #19 is on the way, nothing said about this prolific clan will ever go out of style: Will the Duggars Inherit the Earth?
by jen on December 8, 2009
This is the first in a series of articles on my new favorite female political leader to write about.
I really want to read Palin’s autobiography, Going Rogue: An American Life. This is not just for my ironic pleasure–I’m honestly interested in understanding why her fans like her so much. I could certainly write another list post detailing all the reasons I dislike her, but I’m willing to admit that I find her fascinating and worthy of a million feminist analyses.
Stanley Fish writes in his review of Palin’s autobiography on New York Times’ Opinionator that she likes to recite “wonkish details” and that she admires Hillary Clinton. That’s where I stopped reading because I have to wonder if it is possible to find a comfortable place where you can admit having a grudging amount of, err, I’m searching for a better phrase–ironic respect for someone– and still be diametrically opposed to every thing they say and do. If Sarah Palin can admire Hillary Clinton for her intelligence, success, and career path, couldn’t I say that I admire Palin’s confidence and moxie? Her total lack of self-awareness makes her fearless and I could use some of that. Perhaps Palin and I could be like frenemies: I could praise her outfits from Neiman Marcus and then we could agree that David Letterman tells sexist jokes. But trust me, behind her back I’m going to say she lacks depth. Does any one have a copy of her book I could borrow?
by jen on December 5, 2009
You know what I love best about the end of the year? All those lists recounting or celebrating the top-whatever things that happened in a particular year. Vh1 usually has a lot of lists and not just at the end of the year. People has their most beautiful and sexiest men alive lists. Time has their Person of the Year and all the other people (usually men with a woman or two thrown in for posterity’s sake) who have done something memorable.
Lists are easy ways to organize thoughts without having to write a layered and intelligent story. You can compile it quickly, throw it together, and say something witty. I think this is how I’ll present to you the 2009 People of the Year Who Made Me Shout Obscenties at the Television.
1. Sarah Palin Going Rogue. Easy and obvious, I know. I don’t care if she’s a conservative Republican. I don’t care that she’s narcissistic and overly-ambitious considering her limited talents. What makes me puke in my mouth is this whole going rogue thing. Um, being a rogue is not a good thing. We have rogue nations like the axis-of-evil Iran and North Korea. Palin wants to bomb these places, yet she emulates them. If Palin wants to be a rogue and thinks that 2012 is a good year to run for president, I’m not moving to Canada. I’m moving to another planet.
2. Birthers/Teabaggers/Anti-Healthcare Reform Townhall shouters Come to think of it, I could have created three seperate entries for these patriotic Americans who want to save the country from illegal immigrants, socialism, and black people but they all come together for the same silly press conferences.
3. Glenn Beck I’m waiting for the day when he transitions from crying and spinning wonderful little conspiracy theories to throwing his feces on live television.
4. Michele Bachmann Proudly serving the 6th district of Minnesota and unabashedly saying stupid, irresponsible, and untrue things. I bet the 6th district is proud. Thanks to Bachmann, I never hear a peep from Ann Coulter.
5. Joe Wilson Nobody knew the Congressman from South Carolina until he had an outburst during President Obama’s address to Congress that made four year-olds everywhere seem mature. And the fact that people (birthers/teabaggers/anti-healthcare reform proponents) were inspired by his childish cry of “You Lie!” makes me long for an exit strategy to the moon.
6. The News Media I generally think blaming the media for society’s ills is lazy and incorrect because there are so many forces at work collaborating to destroy society; however, I think the news media is to blame for the five above. Giving these people a forum only stokes their flames. If you ignore them they will go away even if it is kinda fun to cover them.
7. Centrist Democrats 2009 has been a wonderful year for me to feel nonpartisan anger. Whether you are vulnerable in your Republican-leaning state or owned by health insurance companies, you really make me feel the consternation that many other people feel when it comes to politics. A large part of me hopes all of you lose your Senate seats in 2010. But then again, it won’t really matter because you all have jobs lined up lobbying for Pharmaceutical companies.
8. Joe Lieberman First of all, people think we are related even though our last names are spelled differently. True story. And I really don’t get you and I think it’s time you just go over to the Republicans. Do it. Go. Leave.
9. Reality Show Freaks This one’s dedicated to the Hennes, the Salahis, and the Gosselins. You may give us all something to talk about but nobody likes you.
10. The Economy I know, not a person. But it has a life of its own and one that seems to be destroying mine making it harder for me to get a job or own a home or feel secure in my bed at night.
Bonus: 11. People who are against gay marriage rights There is no argument in this world that can convince me that it’s correct to deny consenting adults the right to have a committed relationship with the people they love. Mind your own business, nobody will force you to have anal sex with your interior decorator. This country could only get better if there was more love to go around. If you want to save the state of hetero marriage outlaw divorce and destroy all of Carrie Prejean’s masturbation-how-to videos.
And there you have it: my worst of 2009 list. Let’s hope for the best in 2010
by jen on December 4, 2009
I think I’m pretty lucky because I finished grade school long before George W. Bush became president, so I got to benefit from sex education without the
abstinence only rhetoric. Not only did I learn where babies come from, but I also got to learn about some neat ways to prevent having those little bundles of shit and joy. Having read the warnings on boxes of condoms and the birth control pill inserts I know that neither one is 100 percent effective. I like to think that I’d be much more vigilant than the women featured in TLC’s
I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant.
TLC (The Learning Channel to the uninitiated) and their sister network, Discovery Health have been my greatest source of entertainment since finishing school and being unemployed. TLC truly lives up to its name because I have learned a great many things like little people can do anything and everything (Little People Big World); that Kleinfeld’s is the only place to get a wedding dress (Say Yes to the Dress); that fundamentalist Christians have lots of kids (18 Kids and Counting); and that Jon and Kate hate each other. Clearly, TLC is a channel for heterosexual women interested in little people, buying the princess-for-a-day wedding dress, and having lots of babies because I can’t imagine a straight guy spending five minutes watching this channel. I know this because I did a highly unscientific survey of one guy–my boyfriend–and the results suggest that he thinks TLC is mind numbingly stupid. I would like to be a fly on the wall during TLC’s programming and marketing meetings.
But this whole thing with women unaware of their pregnancies leaves me in total consternation. I like to think of myself as pretty open-minded, believing that anything can happen and I suppose it is possible to never experience any of the usual holy-shit- I’m- pregnant symptoms. I understand there are women who have medical conditions that preclude getting their periods so they wouldn’t think anything was out of the ordinary. However, I can’t stop thinking about the fact that most of the women featured on this show are adults–adults who are quite aware that they are sexually active. There is no suggestion of immaculate conception for any of them. I’m not saying I am better than any of these women, but really, I know that having sex can lead to pregnancy. My advice to sexually active women every where: Pay attention to your bodies and consider the fact that you could get pregnant. Sheesh.
I’ve read similar articles about women unaware of their pregnancies until little junior was making his appearance over the toilet and many of these women contend that they weren’t in denial and that they never had any of the tell-tale signs. I’m sure it would suck mightily if this happened to me, but I’m not convinced they were anything more than misinformed, in some combination of deep denial and scared shitless to let their boyfriends/husbands/strict Catholic families know they were pregnant. Some of the women reported thinking they were having really bad gas and constipation. If I ever have gas so bad that I can see a little foot outline in my abdomen, you can bet I’m gonna think something’s not right.
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