I think I’ve firmly established that George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are not sexy. But, I don’t think I’ve spent sufficient time on what I find really sexy. Sure, Seth Rogen beats Matt Damon and I’d rather spend the rest of my life with a comedian than with a lifeless, sad sack of seriousness, but for some reason good spelling makes me horny.
I know. Of all things–spelling? I’ve tried to rationalize this and the best I can come up with is that I used to be an editor and nothing was more satisfying than clean copy. I also attribute my fetish to my love of the written word. If you haven’t noticed, I blog. I love words and putting them together and making them sound good, so I get rather distressed when words are mangled. I realize people make mistakes. I’ve misspelled words, usually when rushing through a paper at the last minute, and I’m still working through effect and affect, but the constant and blatant lack of attention to detail upsets me.
So, what does bad spelling say? I think it says you don’t read all that much. If you’ve seen all those words in print over and over again there should be no excuse. Reading implies intelligence and education–things I value. Why won’t you take the time to look up a word or use spell check? This implies you don’t care about the details, and then I get to thinking that perhaps if you could be so careless with words you could be just as careless with my heart and worse–your failure to pay attention to the details suggests you may miss an important detail like my clitoris.
Okay, maybe I’ve just made a giant leap by comparing copy-editing skills to good cunnilingus technique and maybe no connection exists between bad spelling and a useless tongue. I don’t really check out every guy’s spelling before I let him get in my pants. I just think everyone should be allowed one off-kilter fetish and spelling is mine.
