Phil Collins is Everywhere

Sometimes you are struck by something so shocking and so earth shattering that you hold it inside you for a long time, afraid that what you heard was not real, but a dream.  A terrible dream.  For me, that moment came when I was riding in an elevator, on my way to meet a professor, when I overheard a young woman admit to another woman she had never, ever heard of Phil Collins, much less Genesis.

I know.  I know.  Phil Collins is ubiquitous.  Right now, there are radio stations across the universe playing Sussudio.  He’s the international symbol for middle of the road pop music.  He sort of made it okay for short, balding men to play drums.  He’s freakin’ Phil Collins and he owned the 1980s with more number one hits than Justin Timberlake and Linkin Park combined.

I just don’t get it.  How do you live on this earth without ever hearing of Phil Collins?  All right.  Maybe you were born in a mud hut in a country that has yet to be colonized and that would make it understandable, but this girl had a distinctive American accent and therefore she has no excuse whatsoever.  Turn on the television.  Watch VH1.  Phil Collins will be there.  Turn on the radio.  Phil Collins will be there.  Go to Borders and walk through the music section. Phil Collins will be there.

Look, I’m not a Phil Collins fan.  I do not own No Jackets Required or Face Value, but I know who he is and I don’t understand how in this day and age with all the media saturation you could go without knowledge of Phil Collins.  I’m trying to think of a situation where one could live a life without Phil Collins.  Maybe the girl was homeschooled by her Christian Fundamentalist parents?  Maybe she is an alien sent to earth to learn about our human ways?  But, seriously, even if you were born in 1990, Phil Collins did the music for Disney’s Tarzan movie.  Surely, you’ve come across Phil Collins in your meaningless life.

Phil Collins is everywhere.  Did you know that you can “phil up” a six hour drive between Washington D.C. and Syracuse, N.Y. playing the Phil Collins Travel Game?  It’s easy.  All you have to do is name a Phil Collins song (Genesis songs count too) and then the other person has to sing a snippet of that song.  I’ll demonstrate:  I say “In the air tonight” and then you sing: “I can feel it coming in the air tonight” or You say:  “Against All Odds” and I sing : “but you coming back to me is against all odds, its the chance i’ll have to take, so take a look at me now, ’cause I’ll still be standing here…”  You get the idea.  Phil Collins writes the songs that keep the whole world singing and you should know that by now.