I found the store where Polka Dots bought her polka dots. Yes indeed, there is a shop on Marshall Street where one can buy black and white polka dot spandex pants and I have made a decision. I pledge to walk a mile (or more) in Polka Dots’ pants. I was 10 years old the last time I wore spandex and that’s because I had to wear them to dance class. Now that I am so much older (and I might add, much, much hotter) I want to give those spandex pants a whirl. I understand this may be antithetical to my very being, but if Polka Dots is unafraid to wear pants so ugly, so ridiculous, and so dumb, I bet I can do it so much better.   This is a grand experiment, and I promise to provide pictures.Â
Here is my experimental design: I will purchase spandex polka dot pants whatever the cost. I will wear them to Starbucks and I will buy a tall vanilla cafe frappuccino.   I will hope against hope that Polka Dots will be there buying her venti whatever the hell she’s getting, our eyes will meet, and we will nod to each other in recognition. In that moment we might become polka dot soul sisters.
Next I will wear these pants to my thesis design class. I want to show my colleagues that one can be fierce and fearless in these pants in a way that no 19 year-old Lexus SUV driving girl can.
I will wear polka dots somewhere other than Starbucks. Perhaps I will wear them to Carousel Mall. I might wear them to Alto Cinco. I might venture to Dunkin Donuts with them. I could wear polka dots anywhere around the city of Syracuse. I might even wear them in Skaneateles.
Can I do this? You bet I can. I am inspired by Polka Dots’ lack of shame and I gave up my dignity a long time ago. So get ready to be wowed. I will wear these polka dots pants as though I was born to wear them.
